As many people these days, I have been experiencing some uncertainty with my business. The economy has impacted most of us in some way or another. I have found myself in a place of mystery, what is going to happen? I have a choice in those moments, will I choose optimism or pessimism??
When fear has a hold on me, I can get stuck in the negative and see only closed doors all around me. Closed doors say to me, "Don't Enter", "Leave Alone", "Go Away", "NO!". In this place I feel there is no hope, it is frustrating and everything appears impossible. Not a fun place to be, and I am certainly not my best self in these times.
During one of these phases recently I noticed something that fascinated me. My puppy does not see closed doors, or if she does they do not limit or stop her. Because she is still a puppy I do not let her have access to all of the rooms in my house, I like to be able to keep an eye on her. So I close the doors to the rooms that are 'off limits' to her. You would think that the sight of the door being closed would be enough to convince her to move on and leave that room alone. Not my puppy, she will push and shove and she will work to get that door opened-and it works! Sometimes I do not get the door latched securely and she is able to push her way into where she wants to be. She is relentless when she wants something.
After observing this I got to thinking, do I give up too easily sometimes? Probably. Do I push a little on a closed door to see if it just might come open? Not really. What if I didn't take the appearance of a closed door to be fact, what if a closed door is really just another opportunity to examine how much I really want something? Do I want it enough to work at it a little harder, to push and see is it really closed or is that an illusion??
At the core of who I am, I am optimistic, I believe that there is a purpose for all things, that the tough times are just lessons on our way to where we want to go. And I am coming to realize that when I have a dream, if I really want something, I don't want to give it up just because a door appears to be closed. I want to be relentless in my pursuits, to give it all I have before I decide that it is time to move on.
Are you willing to check out the doors in front of you more closely before you write them off as closed?
I wonder what would happen if we all pursued our goals and dreams with the enthusiasm of a puppy.
~Sheri
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Why
Everything changes. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes, less good. Sometimes I understand it, many times I don’t.
When I don’t understand change, often my first instinct is to ask “WHY!?” Why is this happening, what is the point? How come I couldn’t avoid this, if I were ‘better’ shouldn't I have been able to stay out of this situation? Did I do something wrong, am I being punished? This line of questioning rarely lets me show up in my life the way I want to. When I am in “why” I am stuck. There is no movement in this stuck place and I only see the obstacle in front of me.
I don’t know about you, but being stuck is the last place I want to be. I don’t like who I am in that place, everything seems dim and hopeless and that is not who I want to be in this world! I want to believe in the lessons of life; I want to see the gift in EVERY situation.
So how does one do that? How do we change the challenging, disappointing, and unexpected things that life brings, into lessons and opportunities for growth and gratitude?
The best answer I have found is that it is a choice. I get to choose my attitude, and my reaction to the changes that come that I didn’t expect or don’t especially like. A choice. We ALWAYS have a choice; I love how empowering that is! Honestly, sometimes it takes me some time to get there, but once I do, the angst that I initially felt subsides.
I encourage you to look for the choices you make when things don’t go the way you thought they might. You have the power to decide what you are going to do with it, who do you want to be in that situation?
“You are limitless potential, so dare experience. Reach beyond why. Believe you have the courage to realize all you dream. Say “YES” to this day.” Mary Anne Radmacher
~Sheri
When I don’t understand change, often my first instinct is to ask “WHY!?” Why is this happening, what is the point? How come I couldn’t avoid this, if I were ‘better’ shouldn't I have been able to stay out of this situation? Did I do something wrong, am I being punished? This line of questioning rarely lets me show up in my life the way I want to. When I am in “why” I am stuck. There is no movement in this stuck place and I only see the obstacle in front of me.
I don’t know about you, but being stuck is the last place I want to be. I don’t like who I am in that place, everything seems dim and hopeless and that is not who I want to be in this world! I want to believe in the lessons of life; I want to see the gift in EVERY situation.
So how does one do that? How do we change the challenging, disappointing, and unexpected things that life brings, into lessons and opportunities for growth and gratitude?
The best answer I have found is that it is a choice. I get to choose my attitude, and my reaction to the changes that come that I didn’t expect or don’t especially like. A choice. We ALWAYS have a choice; I love how empowering that is! Honestly, sometimes it takes me some time to get there, but once I do, the angst that I initially felt subsides.
I encourage you to look for the choices you make when things don’t go the way you thought they might. You have the power to decide what you are going to do with it, who do you want to be in that situation?
“You are limitless potential, so dare experience. Reach beyond why. Believe you have the courage to realize all you dream. Say “YES” to this day.” Mary Anne Radmacher
~Sheri
Friday, June 19, 2009
Friendships and Expectations
Expectations. I’ve got them. Lots of them.
My friendships have always been really important to me. I long for the connections that friends provide. I get a lot of safety from knowing that I have friends who are willing to stand beside me, and even ‘have my back’ when necessary. Throughout my lifetime I have been blessed with many of the most amazing friends possible, I have been extremely fortunate and I don’t want to lose sight of that fact.
Recently I have found myself disappointed a lot in this area. Anytime something starts to show up in my life on a more frequent basis, I figure it is time to take stock. What is the disappointment about? Do I expect too much from my friends? Am I too needy? Have I asked for what I want? Am I being unreasonable? All questions that run through my mind.
I am a planner, and I have been given numerous friends over the years who are anything but. To these people planning is a dirty word; it gives them hives and makes them want to crawl out of their skin, they feel totally trapped by a plan. A plan for me is safety and security. What a set up right?? These have been, and continue to be, some of the more significant relationships in my adult life. So, does God just have a funny sense of humor? Sending me these wonderful people who I love and adore, but who can’t stand the idea of planning ahead?? To that I say: Ha. Ha. Very funny God.
So God’s sense of humor aside, what might be the reason behind this? I have been drawn to this personality a lot over the years, in both dating and friendship relationships. Is it possible I need to be more spontaneous, that I have lessons to learn about just letting things happen as they will? Do I need to take a stand and insist on a plan? Do I dump these friends who don’t do things the way I do and find only friends who approach things like me? Am I part of their lives to teach them something about the benefits of planning? All things I have wondered time and time again.
I don’t have the answer to all these questions, what I know for sure is that each of these people have contributed more to my life than I ever could have hoped or planned. I have learned to go with the flow more and I have learned to ask for what I want too. There is a gift in interacting with people who approach life differently, I see that very clearly. Now, I still have these expectations that creep in when I am not watching, and I can get really frustrated when I feel challenged and disappointed by these friends. And this is when I have the opportunity to learn and grow, or act like a 13 year old that didn’t get her way. I wish I could say that I always take the ‘high road’ but that insecure 13 year old shows up all too often.
The one thing that I have learned, and know without a doubt, is that the key to making it work is communication. If we can talk it out and respect each other’s points of view, we can have success in the relationship. I don’t always love having those challenging conversations, I feel very vulnerable in those moments. But if the relationship is important to me, isn’t it worth a few moments of uncomfortableness to get to the other side? Without communication there is resentment. I don’t want to live in that place; it’s just not worth it! And so I keep learning and practicing and striving to do the best I can, and am making room for my friends to do the same.
Where do expectations get in the way of your relationships? What do you do when you find yourself disappointed? Are you willing to have the challenging and perhaps uncomfortable conversations?
Remember, we are all doing the best we can....and we are constantly given the chance to decide how we want to show up in any given situation.
~Sheri
My friendships have always been really important to me. I long for the connections that friends provide. I get a lot of safety from knowing that I have friends who are willing to stand beside me, and even ‘have my back’ when necessary. Throughout my lifetime I have been blessed with many of the most amazing friends possible, I have been extremely fortunate and I don’t want to lose sight of that fact.
Recently I have found myself disappointed a lot in this area. Anytime something starts to show up in my life on a more frequent basis, I figure it is time to take stock. What is the disappointment about? Do I expect too much from my friends? Am I too needy? Have I asked for what I want? Am I being unreasonable? All questions that run through my mind.
I am a planner, and I have been given numerous friends over the years who are anything but. To these people planning is a dirty word; it gives them hives and makes them want to crawl out of their skin, they feel totally trapped by a plan. A plan for me is safety and security. What a set up right?? These have been, and continue to be, some of the more significant relationships in my adult life. So, does God just have a funny sense of humor? Sending me these wonderful people who I love and adore, but who can’t stand the idea of planning ahead?? To that I say: Ha. Ha. Very funny God.
So God’s sense of humor aside, what might be the reason behind this? I have been drawn to this personality a lot over the years, in both dating and friendship relationships. Is it possible I need to be more spontaneous, that I have lessons to learn about just letting things happen as they will? Do I need to take a stand and insist on a plan? Do I dump these friends who don’t do things the way I do and find only friends who approach things like me? Am I part of their lives to teach them something about the benefits of planning? All things I have wondered time and time again.
I don’t have the answer to all these questions, what I know for sure is that each of these people have contributed more to my life than I ever could have hoped or planned. I have learned to go with the flow more and I have learned to ask for what I want too. There is a gift in interacting with people who approach life differently, I see that very clearly. Now, I still have these expectations that creep in when I am not watching, and I can get really frustrated when I feel challenged and disappointed by these friends. And this is when I have the opportunity to learn and grow, or act like a 13 year old that didn’t get her way. I wish I could say that I always take the ‘high road’ but that insecure 13 year old shows up all too often.
The one thing that I have learned, and know without a doubt, is that the key to making it work is communication. If we can talk it out and respect each other’s points of view, we can have success in the relationship. I don’t always love having those challenging conversations, I feel very vulnerable in those moments. But if the relationship is important to me, isn’t it worth a few moments of uncomfortableness to get to the other side? Without communication there is resentment. I don’t want to live in that place; it’s just not worth it! And so I keep learning and practicing and striving to do the best I can, and am making room for my friends to do the same.
Where do expectations get in the way of your relationships? What do you do when you find yourself disappointed? Are you willing to have the challenging and perhaps uncomfortable conversations?
Remember, we are all doing the best we can....and we are constantly given the chance to decide how we want to show up in any given situation.
~Sheri
Monday, June 8, 2009
Lessons from a Puppy
About 4 months ago I decided to get a puppy. My life has been forever altered as a result. Who knew!?!? I had been thinking about getting one for well over a year and just never was able to take the plunge.....until I did!
In January and February I was making some big changes in my life and spending a lot of time evaluating where I am and where I want to go. I came to the conclusion that there were some things that just had to be changed in order for me to move forward. This was not an easy decision to come to, as letting go of some commitments that were not working for me was scary and at the same time freeing (funny how both can be true!).
Through a series of events and conversations, my friend Robin (who lives in CT) found my puppy for me (I live in MN). I saw this puppy and knew that she was mine and made plans in less than a day to drive 4 hours each way to get her on Valentine’s Day. I was in love (she was the best Valentine I have ever received by the way and I bought her myself-I think there is a lesson there too!). Along with the excitement there were nerves too, I had never been the sole responsible adult for another living being before. (And to be perfectly honest, I used to think my plants were a little needy, you know, wanting water every month or so!) This was one of those times where I just knew that I was making a choice that was right for me. My intuition was speaking to me, louder than the fear that was telling me I didn’t know what I was doing and that I would regret the decision. Thank God for intuition, and the strength to move through the fear!
So it is now 4 months later and Muki and I are adjusting to life together just fine (don’t worry I feed and water her every single day!). In fact I can’t imagine my life without her at this point, she has filled my days with so much joy, her little puppy ways crack me up, way better entertainment than TV most of the time! What a gift she has been for me, during a time when I was in great transition she brought me a sense of stability and balance, she grounds me and reminds me to be present in each moment in a way that I have not experienced before. Being present in the moment has often been a challenge for me in the past. Staying busy was a way to escape my life and not take stock and evaluate if things were actually working for me. I am now slowing down and enjoying the moments in my life rather than focusing only on completeing the next thing on my to do list.
How present are you in your days? Do you rush through each day from task to task just working to get it all done? What will it take to slow you down? What if you were to look for the joy in the little things?
Muki and I dare you to slow down and enjoy all of the moments in your days!
~Sheri
In January and February I was making some big changes in my life and spending a lot of time evaluating where I am and where I want to go. I came to the conclusion that there were some things that just had to be changed in order for me to move forward. This was not an easy decision to come to, as letting go of some commitments that were not working for me was scary and at the same time freeing (funny how both can be true!).
Through a series of events and conversations, my friend Robin (who lives in CT) found my puppy for me (I live in MN). I saw this puppy and knew that she was mine and made plans in less than a day to drive 4 hours each way to get her on Valentine’s Day. I was in love (she was the best Valentine I have ever received by the way and I bought her myself-I think there is a lesson there too!). Along with the excitement there were nerves too, I had never been the sole responsible adult for another living being before. (And to be perfectly honest, I used to think my plants were a little needy, you know, wanting water every month or so!) This was one of those times where I just knew that I was making a choice that was right for me. My intuition was speaking to me, louder than the fear that was telling me I didn’t know what I was doing and that I would regret the decision. Thank God for intuition, and the strength to move through the fear!
So it is now 4 months later and Muki and I are adjusting to life together just fine (don’t worry I feed and water her every single day!). In fact I can’t imagine my life without her at this point, she has filled my days with so much joy, her little puppy ways crack me up, way better entertainment than TV most of the time! What a gift she has been for me, during a time when I was in great transition she brought me a sense of stability and balance, she grounds me and reminds me to be present in each moment in a way that I have not experienced before. Being present in the moment has often been a challenge for me in the past. Staying busy was a way to escape my life and not take stock and evaluate if things were actually working for me. I am now slowing down and enjoying the moments in my life rather than focusing only on completeing the next thing on my to do list.
How present are you in your days? Do you rush through each day from task to task just working to get it all done? What will it take to slow you down? What if you were to look for the joy in the little things?
Muki and I dare you to slow down and enjoy all of the moments in your days!
~Sheri
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The Journey Begins!
I met Angela for the first time at a workshop that we were both attending with the Fearless Living Institute. I knew a couple of the other participants but only briefly because I had seen them at previous workshops. This was the smallest workshop I had ever attended; there were 9 participants......9! How in the world was I going to hide with only 8 other people in attendance?? This was my MO at workshops, I would sit in the middle of the room, blend in, and just take in the info, I didn’t want to get too personal, and certainly didn’t want the person in the front of the room to single me out, I was on this journey alone and privately and I was just fine with that, or so I thought.
Angela came into the room and took the chair next to me; I immediately liked her because she had a very friendly air and looked like someone I could be friends with. We chatted briefly (probably about my shock at how few people there were in attendance!) and just before the workshop began Angela leaned over to me and said, “If we pair up for exercises, will you be my partner?” I responded with an enthusiastic “YES!”, as having been to several previous Fearless workshops I knew that pairing up was quite typical and who you partnered with really had an impact on the weekend. So I was feeling at ease, Angela gave me a level of comfort that I very much wanted in that moment. I love it when intuition speaks and is right. Over the years Angela and I have become great friends and a consistent source of support for each other.
We started our Life Coach training soon after this workshop together. At that point the training program was relatively new and there were very few of us going through the training. We were desperate for support and so we created a group (The Quad) with two other individuals (shout out to the Quad’s other members Rebecca and Jodi). Our training was a fascinating journey filled with fears of all kinds and together the 4 of us forged through, laughing hysterically all the way to completion. This group is where I really learned what it means to be supported by others, these women were (and still are) great sources of encouragement to me.
Angela is one of the most ‘real’ people I have ever met; she speaks her truth with confidence. She is supportive in a way that few other people are. Angela really cares, and shares herself in a way that invites me to share who I am without reservation. One of the things that I love most about Angela is her ability to ask me questions that make me think outside of the box, she has a wonderful way of staying unattached to my choices, and supports me as an individual; this truly is a rare find and I am grateful to have it with Angela.
When Angela came to me with the idea to blog, I hesitated at first, just not sure I had enough to say. After several conversations I realized I do have a lot to say, and this is just one more way that I can pursue my passion of assisting others in embracing humanity and achieving life goals. AND at the same time I will be expanding my own levels of growth and transformation, seems like a win/win to me! I am thrilled to get to partner with someone as amazing and inspirational as Angela. I’m excited for the adventure and grateful to once again have Angela ‘lean over’ and ask me to pair up with her for whatever lies ahead!
We are excited to invite you along on the journey with us-we have a lot to say, and we are Not Afraid To Say It!!
~Sheri
Angela came into the room and took the chair next to me; I immediately liked her because she had a very friendly air and looked like someone I could be friends with. We chatted briefly (probably about my shock at how few people there were in attendance!) and just before the workshop began Angela leaned over to me and said, “If we pair up for exercises, will you be my partner?” I responded with an enthusiastic “YES!”, as having been to several previous Fearless workshops I knew that pairing up was quite typical and who you partnered with really had an impact on the weekend. So I was feeling at ease, Angela gave me a level of comfort that I very much wanted in that moment. I love it when intuition speaks and is right. Over the years Angela and I have become great friends and a consistent source of support for each other.
We started our Life Coach training soon after this workshop together. At that point the training program was relatively new and there were very few of us going through the training. We were desperate for support and so we created a group (The Quad) with two other individuals (shout out to the Quad’s other members Rebecca and Jodi). Our training was a fascinating journey filled with fears of all kinds and together the 4 of us forged through, laughing hysterically all the way to completion. This group is where I really learned what it means to be supported by others, these women were (and still are) great sources of encouragement to me.
Angela is one of the most ‘real’ people I have ever met; she speaks her truth with confidence. She is supportive in a way that few other people are. Angela really cares, and shares herself in a way that invites me to share who I am without reservation. One of the things that I love most about Angela is her ability to ask me questions that make me think outside of the box, she has a wonderful way of staying unattached to my choices, and supports me as an individual; this truly is a rare find and I am grateful to have it with Angela.
When Angela came to me with the idea to blog, I hesitated at first, just not sure I had enough to say. After several conversations I realized I do have a lot to say, and this is just one more way that I can pursue my passion of assisting others in embracing humanity and achieving life goals. AND at the same time I will be expanding my own levels of growth and transformation, seems like a win/win to me! I am thrilled to get to partner with someone as amazing and inspirational as Angela. I’m excited for the adventure and grateful to once again have Angela ‘lean over’ and ask me to pair up with her for whatever lies ahead!
We are excited to invite you along on the journey with us-we have a lot to say, and we are Not Afraid To Say It!!
~Sheri
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Life Coaching 101
I remember when I first told people I was a Life Coach. The general response was usually "A Who? A what? What is a Life Coach?!?" Add confused facial expression. Life coaches have been around for decades but nowadays, with the help of television and even the internet, the term is more common and maybe even overused! (Life coaching is not a replacement for therapy and always make sure your coach has training with a reputable institution!)
The certification process with my particular institution was very intense. I vividly remember the first workshop that I attended. It was he@#! Ok, maybe not THAT bad, but horribly uncomfortable. I was asked to be completely vulnerable and let me tell you, people, I do not like to be vulnerable with a group of complete strangers! (Who does?) By the end of the 3rd hour I felt like I was walking around without any skin on my body. Raw. Painful. Sensitive. Suddenly, the though of becoming a life coach did not seem so appealing after all! Thankfully, I did choose to stay for the whole workshop. I learned more about myself in those 3 days than I had in years. It was a powerful start to my path to becoming a coach and I have never had even an ounce of regret.
The best part of my journey has been watching others unfold. It really is a miracle to witness. I hate to bring up the overused butterfly reference, but have you ever watched the process of metamorphosis? My son begged me to get one of those kits where you can watch the little caterpillars make a cocoon and then hatch into a butterfly. I thought it would be a good learning experience for him but really I was the one watching in fascination. No one ever mentions how this "beautiful" transformation is actually quite a mess! Personal development is quite similiar. It can get ugly, stinky, and messy but if you commit yourself to it, you really will find beauty on the other side. Sometimes the commitment to the process can be the greatest challenge of all. I remember standing in front of a workshop and telling the participants "Sometimes the Coach needs coaching!" What I meant is that, I too, am always in my process. I am always metaphorically going through the stages of metamorphoses. Aren't we all? Where are you in your journey? What do you want to change?
~Angela
The certification process with my particular institution was very intense. I vividly remember the first workshop that I attended. It was he@#! Ok, maybe not THAT bad, but horribly uncomfortable. I was asked to be completely vulnerable and let me tell you, people, I do not like to be vulnerable with a group of complete strangers! (Who does?) By the end of the 3rd hour I felt like I was walking around without any skin on my body. Raw. Painful. Sensitive. Suddenly, the though of becoming a life coach did not seem so appealing after all! Thankfully, I did choose to stay for the whole workshop. I learned more about myself in those 3 days than I had in years. It was a powerful start to my path to becoming a coach and I have never had even an ounce of regret.
The best part of my journey has been watching others unfold. It really is a miracle to witness. I hate to bring up the overused butterfly reference, but have you ever watched the process of metamorphosis? My son begged me to get one of those kits where you can watch the little caterpillars make a cocoon and then hatch into a butterfly. I thought it would be a good learning experience for him but really I was the one watching in fascination. No one ever mentions how this "beautiful" transformation is actually quite a mess! Personal development is quite similiar. It can get ugly, stinky, and messy but if you commit yourself to it, you really will find beauty on the other side. Sometimes the commitment to the process can be the greatest challenge of all. I remember standing in front of a workshop and telling the participants "Sometimes the Coach needs coaching!" What I meant is that, I too, am always in my process. I am always metaphorically going through the stages of metamorphoses. Aren't we all? Where are you in your journey? What do you want to change?
~Angela
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